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Your home’s exterior isn’t a disaster because you’re a bad person. It’s a disaster because Mother Nature is a messy roommate. Between the wind-blown pollen, the moss growing its own zip code on your siding, and the gutters currently housing a small, damp forest, your house is basically keeping a detailed diary of every storm and bird that’s passed by this year.

 

The Yeti exists because your kitchen rags have officially surrendered, and that supermarket squirt bottle you’re using is just making the glass streaks look more artistic and "intentional." It’s time to call in a professional intervention, especially since you’re about to be trapped inside for the season staring at the world through a layer of grime that looks like a permanent fog machine is running in your yard.

 

Why call The Yeti?

• Window Cleaning: Put down the Windex and the linty towels. I don't leave "slightly cleaner smears." I make your glass so invisible you’ll need to warn the birds.

• Pressure Washing: That moody, green algae on your siding isn't "character"—it’s a hostile takeover. I use professional-grade pressure that makes your rental machine look like a Super Soaker. I don't negotiate with mildew; I remove it from the property.

• Gutter Cleaning: Your gutters are currently one heavy rain away from a mid-life crisis. I’ll clear the sludge and debris before your house decides to turn your flower beds into a swampy moat.

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So please, stop staring at those streaks and that clogged downspout with such quiet regret. Your job is to live your life and enjoy the view. My job is to handle the inevitable, grimy consequences of the outdoors.

 

Stay Frosty,

The Yeti